I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
