Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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