I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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