wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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