And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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