Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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