hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
