i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
