if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
