Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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