You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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