just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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