there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
