Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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