just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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