Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
