this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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