I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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