You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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