omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
