Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
