He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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