I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
