no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
