Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
