I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
