I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
