dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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