And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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