Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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