Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
