Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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