You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
