You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
