Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
