Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
