I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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