I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
