Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
