porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
