So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
