I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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