similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
