Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
