Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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