He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am one with the molecules
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
