Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
