I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
