WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
