I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I need to calm my uterus...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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