It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
