girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
