i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
