I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk is not a location!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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